What I learned: A year without sugar...

In 2010, I went hardcore.  I gave up sugar. 

Yup.

Ok, let me clarify.  Sugar is in virtually everything, including milk, bread, fruits and veggies.  I didn't give these up.  But I did give up artificial sugar.  No Choco Puffs.  No soda.  No dessert.

Basically I continued to eat cereal in the morning, but switched to Crispix.  And instead of soda or juice? Water, all the time... (except for my cereal milk)  And how about that dessert?  I just had to say no. 
(Although, I did let myself have a spoonful of peanut butter and a glass of milk before going to bed each night... :)  I pretty much cut out all refined sugars and limited my natural sugar intake.  The first few weeks were tough, but once the middle of February hit it became much easier.

So why in the world would someone want to give up sugar, especially for a year?  What could possibly possess a person to pass up pie and peach cobbler?  Easy.  It was an experiment.

I'm glad I did this experiment, but I think the only reason I managed to pull it off was because I was highly motivated.  But you need some back-story at this point.

The Back Story
Growing up, I was a busy boy.  I wasn't a bad kid, per se; it was just hard for me to stay still.  I was frequently out of my seat, and I always wanted to talk to my friends. About every grade from K-6 my school desk was strategically placed next to the teacher's.  Case in point.

In 3rd grade, my teacher approached my parents.  She suggested they look into Ritalin or some other behavior-modifying drug.  They talked about it and prayed about it, and in the end they decided not to put me on it.  I just kind of learned to live with the way I was wired, and found ways to cope and succeed. My parents didn't tell me about this until my last year in college.  I knew something was different about me, but I didn't know what.

Well, since finding out that I probably struggled with some form of ADD or ADHD, I also realized I also fight dyslexia and mild OCD.  Not to mention my family history is fraught with addictive personality disorder (though thankfully the drug abuse and alcoholism in my extended family never rubbed off on me).

I only recount all this to help you see what a relief it was to have a label for why I feel so different sometimes.  I'm not crazy! There is merit to my suspicions!  I felt comfort.

...for like a day.  My mindset quickly went to panic.  Knowing that I was clinically different put me into a mental tailspin.  How do I be normal, like everyone else?  How do I keep my ADD from taking over my life?  So I did everything I could think of--short of prescription drugs--to control it.  Exercising more.  Journaling more.  Eating healthier.  In fact, in my amateur research I became increasingly convinced that my diet played a huge role in my behavior.  And out of this conviction, my suger-less year of 2010 was born.

Gleaning from the experience

I learned a lot about myself that year:

• I learned that if you start to be healthy in one area, it carries into other areas (for instance, I began to stay away from greasy foods and avoided dyes and preservatives).
• I learned that blue dye gives me a headache (you know, that stuff called "Blue 1" on the label).
• I learned that I feel better overall when I don't gorge on snacks and processed foods.
• I learned that there is a whole community of people who are health-conscious and want to eat real food.  And most of them are pretty normal people. :)
• I learned that I have low blood sugar after almost passing out at work.  (I told my sister, and she said, "I'm not surprised.  It runs in our family."  How did this escape me???)
• I learned that cutting out sugar controls acne, and I no longer have to take meds for it.
• I learned that it's hard to say "no" when someone offers you sugar, and that some people get offended when you decline their offer.
• I learned that I have been very frustrated with myself over the years, sometimes feeling powerless over my ADD.
• I learned that I am willing to go to any length to gain back control of my life.
• I learned that cutting out sugar from my diet doesn't control my ADD.

That last one was a hard one to accept.  I really, really wanted this experiment to work.  But God slowly showed me that this experiment--a year without sugar--was a veiled attempt to take control over my life.  I didn't want to accept that I was powerless.  I wanted to be normal.  I wanted to be in control.  For me, that was where life was.  And I was wrong.

Life isn't in us getting what we want.  Life comes from surrendering to Christ.  Jesus says, "Whoever wants to save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for me will find it." (Matt. 16:25).  The more we try to grasp for life, the less we actually get.  I wanted control over my mind so that it would unlock my full potential.  I could maybe win over a girl I liked, or master the skills of time management, or even be the head of an organization someday.  If only I could gain control of my mind.  But it didn't work.  And I wasted a lot of time hoping it would.  Waiting....watching...nothing.

This was discouraging.  But I had to learn that I belong to the Lord.  And I had to learn that he made me the way I am for a reason.  I'm not normal....and that's okay.  Man, it took me a while to accept that.  But when I did, God's Spirit rested on me and gave me peace.  You don't have to struggle....enjoy my presence...dwell with me, even as I am here with you.

I'll be honest.  I still struggle everyday to give up control.  If it's not surrendering control over my mind, it's trying to give up control in some other area.  But surrendering to Christ doesn't take me as long as it used to.  And I know that he is with me, no matter how many times I try to "grab the wheel" back from him.  I guess that's just evidence that he is working in me.  Changing me.  Helping me understand that I am his, and I can find peace in him.

(PS Let me just say, I had a brownie on January 1st, 2011.  And it was the best brownie I've ever tasted.)